Xi Jinping had just said he would shut power into the cage, striking tigers [for corruption] as well as flies. Here’s something we can try: Park a white van behind the government offices and then send a mass text message to all the leaders inside that reads, “He didn’t keep his mouth shut. She provided video . . . Don’t get on the plane. There’s a white van waiting behind the building.” Before long a bunch of flustered fat guys with black hair will come pouring out, fighting to get into your van.